Toshi said I will know when I am ready, a time like when I do not start off my diary entries with 'what have I done' anymore.
But really,
Will one ever, EVER be ready?
As much as we try to move on and forgive and forget - ourselves as much as the others - we can and won't ever UNDO anything that has been done.
Maybe one will never be ready in the sense I look for at this stage -
Hoping I don't have to be reminded, that I can move on like nothing happened, with a clean slate so that I won't hold past pains and joys against the next persons to come. Maybe by ready, we just slowly forget and move on.
We would never really FORGET what happened,
But we might one day forget to remember.
If that means less of a pang in the heart, is that what I want? Even if forgetting to remember and treasure might also mean it will lessen the value and presence?
If I keep walking on forward,
will the past one day be so far away that its sight won't glare at my eyes..?
It probably was a terrible idea to keep this blog,
and even worse an idea to log on while still drunk.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Can one ever be really ready..?
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