Can one ever be really ready..?

Toshi said I will know when I am ready, a time like when I do not start off my diary entries with 'what have I done' anymore.
But really,
Will one ever, EVER be ready?

As much as we try to move on and forgive and forget - ourselves as much as the others - we can and won't ever UNDO anything that has been done.

Maybe one will never be ready in the sense I look for at this stage -
Hoping I don't have to be reminded, that I can move on like nothing happened, with a clean slate so that I won't hold past pains and joys against the next persons to come. Maybe by ready, we just slowly forget and move on.

We would never really FORGET what happened,
But we might one day forget to remember.

If that means less of a pang in the heart, is that what I want? Even if forgetting to remember and treasure might also mean it will lessen the value and presence?

If I keep walking on forward,
will the past one day be so far away that its sight won't glare at my eyes..?

It probably was a terrible idea to keep this blog,
and even worse an idea to log on while still drunk.

a companion

A companion is, who may not always behave as you wish, but who you know will come to your side when you are sick, hurt, or just down for no reason.

One with whom, rather than being madly in love with, you would go mad without.

KIDC 2007

What's so funny?

Taiwan, 2006

Our oldest picture together.

and probably, a picture of my happiest smile.

Falling for : Barbara Lee

Just being the nerd (and procrastinator) that I am, and sharing what I think you would probably enjoy as well if you want to distract yourself from work:)

Barbara Lee, http://lee.house.gov/index.cfm?sectionid=2&sectiontree=2

A Democrat House Rep. for the 9th District in California since 1998, I think.

Randomly ran into this speech http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh_sxilhyV0 she gave in defense of her ONLY vote against military action in retaliation to 9/11, just 3 days after the incident. In both the House and the Senate, Lee was the sole person - across all both parties and all political spectrum - to cast a NAY vote.

That 2 minute speech explaining her position was just SO touching at this time of the night for me,

to learn someone can be so brave to risk her whole political career, and stand up against the unimaginable peer pressure as well as her own intuitive (if not seemingly the only 'right' thing to do), simple, obvious urge to vote as all others did.

But the bigger and more pleasant surprise is in the fact that this woman still serves as the rep. of her constituents.

At times like this, I do envy parts of that country where the educated seem more responsible, and cautionary/moral acts triumph over 'intuition' shaped by years of experience in making political calculations.

..What do we have to do to start seeing characters like this woman in our community..?

Lattes' birthdays

On my children's birthdays, I want to do something good for another child in their name. I don't want my children to expect a birthday present to be given to them on their birthdays, but for them to learn how blessed they are--and how when you share such blessings you gain much more.

From the day they are born, I want to put aside small money in their name each day(say, a dollar, more if I can manage), and a month before their birthday ask them what is one thing they wish every child had. If it is a toy we could donate as many of those we can afford with that money to an orphanage, if it's health maybe we could support a child in need for a surgery that may give him vision or hearing, or again, what we can afford.

I wish on the morning of my children's birthdays they would wake up and remember what they have, and what love brought them to life that day. I hope in the future they will learn to do the same on their own birthdays themselves, and they will learn to share that love.